Gods laughter is beautiful..

So I have a funny story for tonight…

We are now on round 2 of our fertility treatments and have been praying a lot. Praying for Gods timing, praying for patients, praying for comfort and praying for wisdom. So this cycle I decided no ovulation test or temperature taking. I’ve done temperature taking in the past and this past round went crazy with the ovulation test. I think I keep myself stressed out with them. Since recently having my gallbladder out we decided to take it easy this go around and take the meds but not stress with the rest. Don’t get me wrong… We still have the calendar marked for peak times and still use that but we are relying on God for the rest… Well….

I have spoken to God the last couple of days about this and felt good about not taking the ovulation tests. I prayed and thanked God for listening and knew He did because of the calmness and comfort I felt. I was happy with that. I knew I was doing what I was supposed to by taking the meds and relying on God for the rest… I told God, “Ok, I am going to rely on faith this cycle and not stress and leave it in your hands.” Then the panic set in.. I was on my way home and thought about what if I miss the day.. Or if its later on and I think its coming soon and its days off… Needless to say I found myself sitting in the Dollar Tree parking lot debating on whether to walk inside.. (Don’t judge me for my cheapness. 😜)

So I go in.. And I just look at the cute fall stuff they have out… Then I make one pass by the medicine isle… Feeling the whole  time guilty and like I disobeyed my parent and was somewhere I was not supposed to be. And then I finally give in and go to where I know the ovulation tests are.. I couldn’t stand it, I just had to know and had to get these tests… So, I walk up and there is not one.. Not one ovulation test to be seen.. This has never happened to me before. Usually they are overstocked.. So I stood there for a second staring at the stark shelf and just laughed. God was there with me and I could almost here Him say, ” I know my child better than she knows herself.”  I walked out with a happy heart and know this is in Gods hands.. Because when we talk He listens and when we falter He is always there. He is teaching me patience, trust and faith and I thank Him for that.. Even though I was weak He would not let me break what we had talked about. I love Him for that.

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2 thoughts on “Gods laughter is beautiful..

  1. I can so relate to this! Sometimes I have to remind myself that the OPK, the temping, the charting…that’s not what creates life. God creates life! And I think it’s so hard for us to hear that because we want some little piece of control over the situation or to feel like we are doing something to help move it along. Sometimes there are things that we can do. And other times it’s clear we just need to wait. Prayers that your wait will be over soon! God Bless!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes that is exactly how I feel! I am a control freak anyway so anything that I can do that I feel like is helping control the situation I’ll do it. Letting God it the best way though because, as you so truthfully stated, God creates life and gives us children.. Not the doctors, the opks, the charting, or the temping.. Praying for you that you get a bfp soon!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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